Ghosting in Networking: Why Connections Disappear and How to Revive Them By Dale Wilson

Ghosting in Networking: Why Connections Disappear and How to Revive Them

By Dale Wilson

Welcome back, fearless networkers, to the third installment of our Hauntingly Good Guide to Networking. With Halloween just around the corner, we’re diving into yet another spooky reality in the world of professional connections: ghosting. You know, those moments when a promising contact suddenly vanishes, leaving you in the eerie silence of no replies and unanswered follow-ups. Yes, ghosting isn’t just a horror story reserved for dating—it happens in networking, too, and it can leave even the most experienced professionals feeling haunted.

But fear not! In this post, we’ll explore the mysterious realm of ghosted connections, why they occur, and, most importantly, how to revive them. With a few strategic tips, you’ll learn to resuscitate those vanishing contacts and keep your network thriving. Let’s shed some light on why connections sometimes go cold—and how you can bring them back to life!

Why Do Connections Ghost? Unmasking the Mystery

In professional networking, ghosting can feel like an unexpected and frustrating twist in an otherwise good interaction. Why do people do it? There are several reasons why contacts may “disappear” after a great conversation or initial connection:

• They Got Busy: Life happens. People often get caught up in other obligations, deadlines, or unexpected personal matters. When this happens, even the best intentions of staying connected can fall to the wayside.

• Uncertain Value: Sometimes, if a person isn’t clear on the potential benefit of the connection, they might deprioritize it or not see the need to follow up. Networking is about building mutually beneficial relationships, so when someone feels uncertain about what you bring to the table, they might let the connection slide.

• Misaligned Expectations: If the initial interaction was overly formal or transactional, a contact may feel uncertain or even reluctant to continue. Networking relationships grow best with genuine interest and sincerity, and people can sense when the connection lacks those elements.

• Forgetting to Follow Up: Sometimes, it’s a simple case of forgetfulness. Many people genuinely intend to stay connected but lose track amid busy schedules and other networking commitments.

Understanding why ghosting occurs can provide valuable context when planning your next step. Rather than feeling discouraged, approach the situation with an open mind. With a little persistence, you may find that the connection isn’t lost—just waiting for the right nudge to reawaken.

How to Revive Ghosted Connections

Bringing a connection back from the dead doesn’t have to be an impossible task. With a few practical strategies, you can rekindle conversations and remind contacts why you initially connected.

Start with a Friendly Check-In

If it’s been a while since you last spoke, begin with a friendly, lighthearted message. Instead of diving into business, ask how they’ve been and acknowledge that it’s been a while. Here’s an example:

“Hey [Name], it’s been a minute! I hope you’ve been well. I just wanted to reach out and say hello. I’d love to catch up sometime and hear about what you’ve been working on.”

This kind of message signals that you’re not pushing for anything; you’re simply interested in reconnecting. Keep it casual and genuine, and you may find that your contact responds with the same warmth.

Offer Value or a Relevant Update

If there’s something new you’ve been working on or an article, event, or opportunity that could interest them, use this as a reason to reach out. For example:

“Hi [Name], I came across an article/event and immediately thought of you! I’d love to hear what you think of it. And by the way, we should catch up sometime—it would be great to hear what’s new on your end.”

This approach does two things: it positions you as someone who brings value, and it’s a friendly, non-intrusive way to open the door for future conversation.

Remind Them of Shared Interests or Past Conversations

Bringing up a shared experience or past conversation topic can rekindle the original connection and remind the contact of your conversation’s context. Here’s how you might do it:

“Hi [Name]! I was thinking about our conversation on [topic] the other day and wanted to reach out. I’d love to hear more about your insights on that and maybe catch up if you’re free. Hope all is well!”

Rekindling past topics brings back the memory of your initial interaction and refreshes their interest in continuing the conversation.

When Ghosting Is Actually Okay

Not every ghosted connection needs to be revived. In networking, it’s important to recognize when a connection isn’t meant to be. If someone has ignored multiple follow-ups or you’ve made efforts without any response, it may be best to let this connection rest in peace. Some professional connections are seasonal and serve a purpose for a limited time, while others may simply lack a strong foundation for a long-term relationship.

Knowing when to move on keeps your energy focused on connections that are meaningful and mutually beneficial. Building a network takes time and discernment, so give yourself permission to let certain connections go when they no longer serve you.

Tips to Avoid Future Ghosting

Just as ghost hunters prepare with the right tools, there are steps you can take to make ghosting less likely in your networking interactions. Here’s how:

Set Clear Intentions from the Start

At the end of your initial conversation, express your intention to stay in touch and, if possible, mention a specific follow-up action. For example, “I’d love to continue this conversation. Would it be alright if I reached out next week?” By clearly setting expectations, you’re showing that you’re interested in a continued exchange.

Add Personalization to Every Interaction

People are more likely to remember connections that feel genuine and personal. During your conversation, take a mental note of any unique details they share, such as their favorite hobby or a recent trip. Mentioning this in a follow-up note shows that you were genuinely listening and invested in them as a person, not just a contact.

Stay in the Loop through Social Channels

Sometimes, ghosting happens when we lose track of where people are in their careers or what they’re currently working on. Following them on LinkedIn or connecting on other professional social platforms allows you to stay up-to-date and gives you opportunities to comment on or support their posts—a low-pressure way of staying visible and engaged.

Know When to Pivot Your Approach

If your contact seems unresponsive after a few messages, try a different approach. Acknowledge that schedules can be hectic and that you’d be happy to reconnect whenever they’re available. This keeps the door open for them to reach out when the timing is right without making it feel like they’re under any obligation.

Embracing the Living Connections

Ghosting can be a disappointing experience, but it’s part of the networking journey. When you find yourself facing a ghostly silence, try these strategies to breathe life back into the relationship. Building meaningful connections takes time, effort, and a healthy dose of persistence, but when handled with care, even ghosted connections can be revived into vibrant, mutually beneficial relationships.

Don’t Fear the Ghosts!

Next time a connection goes dark, remember these tips to bring it back to life. With the right approach, you’ll find that even the spookiest of ghosted connections can turn into a long-lasting relationship. So go out there, network with confidence, and may your connections stay lively and bright through the haunted halls of networking. Happy Halloween!