(And Why You Froze in That Zoom Meeting)
Trauma’s Spice Girls and Why They Still Tour in Your Nervous System
Hola mi gente linda (or should I say… my workplace warriors & healing jefas/jefes)!
Let’s talk real quick about the 5 Survival Instincts in Trauma-Informed Care (TIC).
Tu sabes, those automatic responses that kick in when your body thinks you’re in danger…
Even when you’re just in a passive-aggressive Zoom call with Rick. Who gave himself the title “culture ambassador” and now runs every meeting like it’s a TED Talk nobody asked for.
These aren’t just about war zones or childhood drama. Sometimes, the battlefield is the break room, and the grenade is the tone in that “per my last email.”
Let’s break them down SunnyWorks Innovations style—with examples, signs, and how to check yourself before you wreck your nervous system.
1. FIGHT
Definition: You feel threatened → You come out swinging (verbally, emotionally, or with that petty energy).
At Work: You’re in a meeting, and someone critiques your project. You interrupt them, shut it down, and suddenly you’re channeling Cardi B at the BET Awards.
Physical Signs: Tight jaw, clenched fists, heat rising up your neck, pupils dilated like you just drank 4 Cafecitos.
What To Do:
- Ground yourself, por favor! Place your feet flat and push down like you’re trying to stomp out La Tóxica energy.
- Breathe deeply: Inhale for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat, like you just smelled sofrito hitting the pan—centered, grounded, and ready.
2. FLIGHT
Definition: You dip. You escape. You avoid. Mentally or physically.
At Work: Conflict’s brewing? Suddenly you’ve got “an urgent email” to answer or 27 tabs open and none of them make sense.
Physical Signs: Fidgeting, bouncing knees, tapping, tunnel vision, heart racing like you’re on “Sabado Gigante.”
What To Do:
- Name it to tame it: “My brain thinks I’m in danger, but I’m safe right now.”
- Short walk, deep breath: Take a loop around the office or go hug a plant. Yes, even the fake ones.
3. FREEZE
Definition: Your brain hits pause. You’re still but overwhelmed.
At Work: Your boss asks you a basic question and your mind goes blank like someone deleted your mental Google Docs.
Physical Signs: Holding breath, stiff posture, deer-in-headlights look. You literally feel stuck.
What To Do:
- Wiggle your toes inside your shoes. Brings you back to the present.
- Move something small. Roll your shoulders, rotate your neck, like you’re prepping for salsa class but discreet.
4. FAWN
Definition: You people-please to avoid conflict or rejection. AKA “Survival by saying ‘yes’ when your spirit is screaming ‘que NOOOO, carajo!’”
At Work: You agree to take on the 5th project for Brenda, who never returns the favor, and now you’re stress-eating pastelillos at your desk.
Physical Signs: High-pitched voice, apologizing for things that aren’t your fault, over-smiling, over-doing.
What To Do:
- Ask yourself: “Am I doing this because I want to—or because I’m afraid of what’ll happen if I don’t?”
- Practice boundaries: Start small. “Let me get back to you” is your new magic phrase/mantra, darling!
5. FLOP
Definition: You shut down. Total surrender. You’re present, but you ain’t there.
At Work: You’re at your desk, scrolling, dazed, detached. People think you’re lazy, but baby… your nervous system pulled the plug.
Physical Signs: Flat affect, exhaustion, numbness, slouched posture, disassociation. You feel like you’re in a fog or watching life on mute.
What To Do:
- Tiny wins: Drink water, stretch, step outside. Don’t push productivity. Just connect to yourself.
- Let someone safe know: “Hey, I’m not feeling great. I need a moment.” Letting it out diffuses the shutdown faster.
Remember: Nobody’s got your back like you do—so SHOW UP for YOURSELF like you would for your bestie.
Why This Matters
Most folks show up to work carrying invisible backpacks full of trauma, generational, systemic, and/or personal. When we don’t recognize these patterns in ourselves or others, we risk mislabeling survival as laziness, attitude, or even incompetence. But let’s be clear, what you’re seeing isn’t dysfunction. It’s protection. A nervous system doing exactly what it was trained to do.
The question is:
“Is my body still protecting me from something that’s no longer a threat?”
HR Amiga Unfiltered REAL TALK –
I once had a moment where a few coworkers, maybe feeling a little insecure (you know who you are!), tried to tell my boss I did something I hadn’t. I was so taken aback that I couldn’t even find the words to defend myself at that moment. It was a real eye-opener for me, a sign of how unexpected situations can trigger that freeze response. But the beautiful part is, I took that experience and turned it into a lesson. The next time something similar happened, I was ready. I stood my ground, spoke my truth, and showed up for myself in a way that made me proud. It’s all about growing from those moments and knowing that each challenge makes you stronger and more resilient.
We need to train ourselves and our teams to recognize the signs, offer grace, and build practices that rewire our nervous systems for safety, not survival.
And don’t forget – compassion and grace are non-negotiables. For yourself. And for everyone you lead, love, or work beside. Approach every situation with empathetic curiosity, not blame, shame, or judgment. Porque la verdad is, we’re all out here doing our best with the tools we’ve got. So before you judge, pause and ask “What story might be living behind this behavior?”
That’s where the real TIC healing begins.
Want to learn how to decode those stories in the workplace?
Curious how I help teams move from survival mode to real connection + growth?
That’s where my A.L.M.A.™ Framework comes in. It’s my special blend of trauma-informed care, emotional intelligence, and culturally conscious leadership that turns insight into impact. ¡DALE!
Ready to bring it to your team or leadership circle? Want to shift your culture from chaos to clarity—con corazón?
- DM me.
- Book a trauma-informed workshop.
- Or just forward this to your “we need this” coworker. You know who they are.
Con cariño y girasoles
Jessica, your HR Amiga Unfiltered
Bringing cafecito, culture & compassion to your workplace, one instinct at a time.
PS:
Don’t be mad at your nervous system—it kept you alive.
Now let’s help it feel safe enough to thrive. 🌻
