The Networking Debate: Why Skipping Events Could Cost You Big

In his 2016 Harvard Business Review article “Don’t Waste Your Time on Networking Events,” Derek Coburn challenges the long-standing belief that traditional networking events are effective tools for professional growth. Coburn, the author of Networking Is Not Working and founder of CADRE, an un-networking community, argues that most networking events are inefficient and fail to deliver meaningful results. He points out that these events typically attract professionals with diverse agendas, making it difficult to form genuine, mutually beneficial relationships. Coburn believes that because everyone is playing a “different game,” there are rarely clear winners in the traditional networking landscape. He goes on to suggest that professionals should focus their energy elsewhere—specifically on strengthening existing relationships, hosting curated events, and reconnecting with dormant contacts. These strategies, according to Coburn, offer more value than attending large, impersonal gatherings.

Coburn’s critique is grounded in a simple but powerful observation: many attendees of traditional networking events are there for themselves. They want to sign new clients, raise awareness for their businesses, or develop strategic relationships—often without consideration for the needs of others. This focus on individual agendas results in a fractured environment, where no one’s goals align, and true connections are rare.

Coburn makes a compelling case against traditional networking events in his article, pointing out the inefficiencies and mismatched agendas that often lead to superficial connections. He argues that attendees, each focused on their own goals, rarely find common ground, and the value of such events is frequently overstated. He suggests that professionals can achieve better results by advocating for more curated and personal networking strategies, such as hosting intimate gatherings or reconnecting with dormant ties. These approaches, Coburn suggests, offer more control and a greater likelihood of fostering meaningful, long-term relationships. His recommendations, such as organizing smaller, hand-picked events and double dating in a professional context, indeed offer valuable alternatives to often chaotic environment of larger networking gatherings.

While Coburn’s strategies provide a fresh perspective on building relationships, they overlook the enduring value of traditional networking events. These larger forums serve as a unique opportunity for professionals from diverse industries and backgrounds to meet organically, often sparking connections that might never have occurred in a more curated setting. Traditional networking events offer exposure to new ideas, industries, and people that can expand one’s professional horizons. They provide a platform for serendipity, where unexpected but highly valuable relationships can form. In a world increasingly driven by digital connections, in-person networking retains a special power: the human element, the ability to read body language, make eye contact, and build trust through face-to-face interactions. This kind of authentic engagement is hard to replicate in smaller, more controlled environments.

Moreover, traditional networking events are essential for broadening one’s circle beyond the immediate community or niche group. They allow professionals to step outside their usual circles, creating opportunities to meet potential clients, collaborators, and mentors who might not have been on their radar. Coburn’s methods, while effective, tend to rely on one’s existing network or closely related contacts, which can limit the diversity of connections. Attending larger events helps to break down these silos, encouraging cross-industry relationships that can be just as valuable as connections within one’s field. Additionally, while hosting your own event or double dating requires a significant investment of time and energy, traditional networking events are typically more accessible and less demanding to participate in, making them a practical option for busy professionals looking to expand their network without taking on the responsibility of organizing something themselves.

To dismiss traditional networking events entirely would be to overlook their potential to foster meaningful, long-lasting connections. Instead of avoiding them, professionals should focus on making the most of these opportunities. By being strategic and thoughtful in their approach, attendees can navigate the sometimes chaotic environment of networking events and turn them into valuable experiences. Rather than being overwhelmed by the diverse agendas present, individuals can set clear goals, come prepared, and focus on building relationships that extend beyond the event itself.

While Coburn’s insights are thought-provoking, and the alternative strategies he presents are undoubtedly valuable and worth considering, it would be premature to entirely abandon traditional networking events. There is still significant value to be gained from these gatherings if approached with the right mindset and strategy. Rather than dismissing them outright, let’s explore how you can maximize their potential and build valuable, long-lasting relationships.

In the following section, we’ll explore ten strategies that can help maximize the value of traditional networking events, ensuring that these gatherings remain a powerful tool for professional growth and success.

Maximizing Traditional Networking Events: 10 Key Strategies

1. Set Clear Objectives Before attending a networking event, it’s crucial to define your goals. Are you looking to meet potential clients, industry experts, or future collaborators? Having a clear purpose will help you stay focused and make the most of the event.
2. Do Your Homework Research the event’s attendees and speakers in advance. Knowing who will be there allows you to target key individuals who align with your objectives and prepare relevant talking points to engage them meaningfully.
3. Prepare Your Elevator Pitch A well-crafted, concise introduction is essential for making a strong first impression. Make sure your pitch clearly communicates who you are, what you do, and what you hope to achieve from the event.
4. Listen More Than You Talk Networking is about building relationships, and relationships are founded on mutual understanding. Show genuine interest in others by asking thoughtful questions and actively listening to their responses. This will leave a lasting impression and create a stronger connection.
5. Follow Up Promptly After the event, reach out to the people you met. Send personalized emails or messages on LinkedIn that reference your conversation and suggest a follow-up meeting or call. This shows your commitment to nurturing the relationship.
6. Leverage Social Media Use platforms like LinkedIn to connect with event attendees before and after the gathering. Engaging with their content and staying active in their digital spaces will help keep the relationship alive.
7. Be a Connector One of the most valuable things you can do in networking is to introduce people within your network to each other. This not only strengthens your relationships but also establishes you as a resourceful and valuable contact.
8. Attend Regularly Attending events consistently helps build rapport and familiarity with other attendees. Over time, you will deepen these relationships and become a trusted member of the community.
9. Bring a Wingman Networking can sometimes feel overwhelming, especially at larger events. Bringing a colleague or friend can help ease the pressure and provide opportunities to introduce each other to new contacts.
10. Provide Value First Offering assistance, advice, or resources to your new contacts—without expecting anything in return—establishes you as a valuable connection. When you give first, people are more likely to reciprocate and seek ways to help you in return.

Building connections at networking events is just the beginning. The true value of these encounters lies in what happens afterward — how you continue to engage with the people you meet, maintaining and nurturing these connections, and turn a fleeting introduction into a meaningful relationship over time. Nurturing relationships beyond the event is crucial for transforming casual acquaintances into trusted allies, clients, or partners. It requires intentional follow-up, consistent communication, and a genuine interest in mutual success. In the next section, we’ll explore actionable steps you can take to deepen these connections and maintain strong, long-lasting professional relationships that go beyond the initial handshake.

Here are a few ways to ensure your professional relationships continue to grow:

Nurturing Relationships Beyond the Event

• Regular Check-ins: Don’t let too much time pass before you reconnect. Schedule periodic check-ins with your contacts to keep up with their progress and share your own updates.
• Share Opportunities: Whether it’s a relevant job posting, business opportunity, or upcoming event, sharing opportunities demonstrates that you’re invested in the other person’s success.
• Celebrate Milestones: Keep an eye on your contact’s achievements, such as work anniversaries, promotions, or completed projects. A quick message of congratulations goes a long way in building rapport.
• Collaborate on Projects: Look for ways to collaborate, whether it’s writing an article together, speaking at an event, or working on a project. Collaboration deepens your relationship and creates mutual benefits.
• Host Your Own Events: Take a page from Coburn’s advice and host smaller, more intimate gatherings where you can curate the guest list and focus on creating meaningful connections.

Conclusion

While Derek Coburn’s strategies for avoiding traditional networking events offer innovative ways to build and maintain professional relationships, it’s important not to disregard the potential of traditional networking events altogether. While traditional networking events may not always yield immediate results, they remain a valuable platform for building professional relationships and expanding your reach. Networking is an evolving skill that requires adaptability and a keen understanding of human connections.

By employing the strategies outlined above, combined with the innovative strategies proposed by Derek Coburn, you can create a holistic approach to networking that leverages both structured events and personalized interactions and turn these events into valuable opportunities for connection and growth. Remember, the key to successful networking lies not just in the initial meeting, but in the ongoing effort to build, nurture, and grow meaningful relationships over time that can lead to mutual success. Stay open, stay engaged, and continuously look for ways to add value to your network.

Footnote:

Article that inspired this blog post: “Don’t Waste Your Time on Networking Events” by Derek Coburn, Harvard Business Review, September 26, 2016. Available online at HBR here: https://hbr.org/2016/09/dont-waste-your-time-on-networking-events?utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=hbr&utm_source=facebook&tpcc=orgsocial_edit